Thorns FC: Merciless

There’s a saying that I think is probably as old as Sumer. It goes like this: “When your enemy is drowning, throw them an anvil.” Or whatever they used for anvils in Sumer. C’mon. You get the idea. Last Sunday the Chicago Red Stars came to Portland trailing smoke after two ugly losses to the […]

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Thorns FC: Takin’ Care of Business

Maybe it was the beer. I’d had a few, and that 10-and-a-half-buck-induced hazy vagueness always makes things look a little better. Maybe it was seeing the Thorns score their first goals from the run of play since late July. Maybe it was the 3-1 scoreline. Maybe it was just my naturally insanely cheery optimism that […]

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Thorns FC: O Felix Culpa

All other doubts, by time let them be cleared.Fortune brings in some boats that are not steered. ~ William Shakespeare; Cymbeline, Act 4, Scene III That was weird. So much for the soccer chestnut “If you don’t score you can’t win.” Sunday afternoon the Damned Courage scored all three goals and still lost 2-1; the […]

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Thorns FC: Reigned On

It’s a short week with the Damned Courage tomorrow midday and this was – certainly for a neutral and even for me as a Thorns fan – an ugly, dreary match, so I’ll be brief. The Thorns have got trouble. Seattle was not a particularly good team Wednesday night. Here’s the Opta stats line: SEA […]

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Thorns FC: Didn’t

Thorns should’ve won. Didn’t. ~ Chris Henderson Dunno about you, but I’m pretty chapped that Sky Blue FC ran out of Providence Park last Saturday with a point. The only question left seems to be why the rascals managed to take on one of the top two teams in the league and hold them to […]

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Thorns FC: Ridet Caesar

Victor Hugo probably invented the phrase because he wanted to make a point about the Battle of Waterloo in Les Miserables, but it still makes a great Latin tag: Ridet Caesar, Pompeius flebit. “Caesar laughs, Pompey weeps.” Last Wednesday night Caesar laughed, Pompey wept, and I laughed, too; laughed both from the pure joy of […]

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Thorns FC: Right in the face

Where to start? Perhaps with the final score; 2-2 in Rio Tinto, a road point in Utah, which would typically be cause for, if not celebration, at least a certain satisfaction. Why did the result feel so disappointing, instead? Perhaps because of the score progression, where the Thorns went up in the 9th minute only […]

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Thorns FC: Buckwild

That was utterly nuts. The Thorns had scored a grand total of three goals in the 270 minutes preceding the home match against Orlando. Then, in the 94 minutes between the whistles last Sunday, they scored four. Or five, if you count the one Emily Menges scored for Orlando. Either way, Portland rung up something […]

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Thorns FC: Ouch

Well, that was…unexpected. Exactly a week after gutsing out a tough road win in Houston, Thorns FC returned to the friendly confines of Providence Park and dropped a clanger against a Reign FC that has been gutted by injuries and absences. I don’t know how much insight I can give into why the Thorns managed […]

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