Thorns FC: Final Grades – The Backline

The Tipping Toddler (A Safety Advisory) Before we go on, let me start with this. I’m not here to slag off on the Thorns as a team, or any individual player. As a fan I love and support the squad, in victory or in defeat. Some readers expressed concern that I was low-rating A.D. Franch […]

Thorns FC: Final Grades – The Keepers

There may be a Moral, though some say not;I think there’s a moral, though I don’t know what.But if one gets better, as the other gets wuss,These Two Little Bears are just like Us. ~ from Twice Times, by A.A. Milne Now that it’s all over perhaps we should look back at the 2019 season, […]

Thorns FC: The Things We Did Last Summer

I think we’re most of us finally into the fifth Kubler-Ross stage of the Portland Thorns 2019 season. Okay, well, no, not me. I’m still stuck in the fucking “anger, bargaining, and drinking heavily” stage. What, that’s not one? Aw, the hell with it. It is for me. But I suspect – and I hope […]

Episode 31: Having Procured One Bear…

It’s the last episode of the season and we ran long because there was so much to talk about. For instance (SPOILER ALERT) we didn’t have such a great run at the end of the season. What went wrong? What changes need to be made in the off season? Who stays and who goes? All […]

We Want to Hear From You!

What do the Thorns mean to you? How do you feel about the 2019 season? I’ve set up a Google Voice phone number at ‪(971) 258-1933‬. Please call and leave a voicemail with your response and we’ll try and use it on our final Riveting! episode of the year. Please make sure and give us […]

Thorns FC: One and Done

What was so shocking about the end of the Thorns’ 2019 season wasn’t that it came so soon, in only the 8th minute of the semifinal match in Chicago. Or that it began with a couple of individual mistakes, beginning either with Emily Menges’ mishit pass or Tobin Heath’s inexplicable phantom-backheel-to nobody, take your pick: […]

Thorns FC: Cold Open

As the final regular season match of 2019 it was an epic letdown on the scale of the last episode of Game of Thrones. As entrance to the playoffs it was stone-cold . But y’know what? I really don’t want to go in depth over the dreary scoreless draw the Thorns played out against Washington […]

Hammered Rivets: 2019 Wrap-up

The Thorns closed out the regular season in front of a near-sellout crowd at Providence Park. The match itself was frustrating, but there were plenty of other goings-on to entertain us. Before the match started, the Orlando-Reign match was showing on the big video screen. When Marta scored the equalizer at the death, there was […]

Episode 30: Out of Sinc

The end of the season kind of feels like we all took an elbow to the nose. Join us as we talk about Vlatkoball, the potential end of Christine Sinclair’s career (T_T) and Nadine Angerer: Ice dancer? Plus Richard with the attendance report and your questions. Available wherever you get your podcasts! And in case […]

Thorns FC: Swept Away

When I think of “trouble” this season my first thought is usually “The Damned”. But you know who has really been the hammer on the Thorns this season? Tacoma. They’ve utterly stoned us; 0-3-0, outscored 4 goals to nil, swept the season series (and 2-5-0 over the past two seasons; the two wins were, fortunately, […]